Pergi Subuh Pulang Senja

This is gonna be a long posting people, so if you have urgent matters, go tend to ‘em first and come back later. Yang tengah pakai kain telekung tunggu marghrib, pergi marghrib dulu. Those yang ada report nak kena buat, siapkan dulu. Yang curi curi visit blog in between meetings, sila baca minutes of meeting dulu. Mereka yang tengah potong bawang nak masak, pergi tumis dulu kari tu dulu. Ada yang dok kepit kepit menahan sesuatu, sila ke tandas dahulu. Kalau yang pesan lunch from friends, sila pergi buat kopi atau milo.

I finally got my Laptop to run again after a vicious Virus attack during the weekend, after 27 hours of labour that is. I have to practically strip down the lappie back from scratch, reformatting the bloody hard disk, partition it and painfully reinstall the applications back. The laborious part is actually finding the CDs to install and they are not in places they are suppose to be. Ada yang tinggal cover sahaja tak ada CD, ada yang CD dah calar, ada yang semua semua tak ada. The Laptop refuse to ada suara. Enjin jalan, gambar jalan, tapi bila tengok En. Samy Vellu jerit dalam parlimen, itu suara tarak mau keluar. Mulut jugak jalan, tapi tarak dengar apa apa jua pun.

So kena drag my lazy ass to the Mall to get some softwares, and I hate being in a mall on Sundays which seemed to be always full with noisy little brats and skinny amoi in skimpy dresses….( heheh..)

Then what ? owh, the drivers. Printer, PDA, Camera, Router IP address, semua semua tu ini orang tua sudah lupa mana dia taruk. Yer pandai, you said can download from websites, but to download my DSLR camera punya softwares and drivers pun dah makan masa beribu tahun sebab it was a 125Mb file. *&%%#&&*..

All my links are gone. Flickers, Picassa, resource websites and the login ID and IP address for the server where I parked Farah’s Webpage. Email IDs and settings in Outlook, mega tons of other password yang I never cared to remember sebab dulu just opt for the remember passwd option. Download YM, install that install this, 27 hours of my life was gone..kapish.. And like the new reality show on TV8, “so you think you can dance ?”, how does this appeal to you, “so you think I can smile ?”

The most strenuous part is Farah’s webpage punya files. I use this software called WebbyPager to design the backbone and core graphics layout. Then I export to Dreamweaver to tidy up the codes and stuffs before uploading to the host server. Problem, I can no longer find the WebbyPage maker CDs and the company that produce them no longer exist. That is right, THEY CLOSE SHOP. All the raw files were saved in WebbyPage format that cannot be edited in Dreamweaver. So I have now to start it all from scratch in Dreamweaver. Sounds interesting and fun ? YEAH RIGHT, sekeh karang..apa sengih sengih ?

That Sunday afternoon jugaklah Datuk Ramli nak belanja main golf kat Glenmarie but have to decline due to some prior arrangements. Messy…messy.

So this morning, terbit matahari saja, ini orang tua sudah keluar heret kayu golf. Datuk Iskandar, Ehsan and Rizal jadi mangsa. Tak puas berjemur dari pagi sampai tengahari, sambung lagi lepas Zohor sampai senja. Sampai rumah ngam ngam nak habis marghrib.

But I got a pleasant surprise when I got home. Sampai rumah, terus mandi, gosok gigi, gosok ketiak, gosok bini..( heheh..tak tak..acah jer.. ) then lepas bagi salam marghrib, atas meja ada ini……

Dapat Jam baru. Farah says yang ini tahan lasak and boleh pakai main golf..Eh eh .. macam disuruh suruh pulak pergi main golf hari hari..hehehe...Thanks hon, I very the like the watch...Muahhh..

If you happen to bump into me, sila tanya "pukul berapa Datuk Jin ?" Chances are, I would probably let you see the time for yourself. And tonight I am sleeping with the watch. And I would tidur angkat tangan sebelah sebab takut tercalar jam masa tidur. And tomorrow morning boleh mandi pakai jam sebab it says, it is water proof and can be used at 200M punya depth. Ada stopwatch, so i can time the actual time I mencangkung dalam toilet sambil main game on PDA. And I can also accurately time the lapse between the first spluchhh during the cangkung time and the last small little splicchk before I flush. Yesssssssss !!!!!!!!!

Sunny turns to Grey

You wake up early in the morning and got ready to face whatever's coming that day. The horizon tinged with red and orange as the sun slowly peaked in the east, promising a bright sunny day with blue skies and patches of white cumulus clouds.

The afternoon‘s going to be hot and sticky, but not lacking in its own appeal that could flatter any pair of eyes that cares to observe.

Then suddenly, within minutes, the sun is gone as if a mighty pair of hands threw a huge grey blanket over it. The smiling blue sky that evokes laughter in us, which gives us the feeling of security and joy, disappears and as sudden as it greets us in the morning, it left. The world around us is quickly transformed into grey and gloom. The warm sprits, the uplifting joy that we felt earlier became a past that we longed for, as we began to fear the uncertainties brought by the dark skies, the distant rumble of thunder and the occasional flashes of lightning. The wind became stronger, blowing from end to end, twisting away without mercy, sweeping our smiles and laughter away.

This happens a lot in life, and for many of us, we call it.., well, we call it fate. Some would take it as it goes, some would nod it off without fuss but some do take them the hard way.

Remember that good feeling you had about something, that would suddenly be gone within minutes, the shopping trip that went wrong. A good start at work that turns sour in the afternoon. Ever received a bad news during a happy moment and had the sun cruelly being replaced by the grey unhappy skies. Remember the day, when the boss who was so kind and respectful in the morning, who then with a small turn of event, suddenly transformed into an ugly, hairy ape or the camping trip that turned into a disaster ?

Saturday was a good day for me, as bright as the morning sky. Sunday started great but ended up messy,sticky and remorseful , and how do I regard it? Well… shit happens.

Ermm.....

No New Post

Tak Ada Post Baru

Mai Me Post Mai

Post New Bo Leow

Yileek New Post

Achtung Zer Nue Post

La' Post Baroo

Tak Dok Post Baru

Tak Dak Post Baru

Mano Ado Post Baru

Hehe..Sorry kelakar bodoh..

..Harap Jangan Hempas Kepala Anda di Meja...

Pelajaran Bahasa Kelantan - Bab Satu

Bab Mengorat Kat KB Mall

Hok Jate : “ Adik tuh, kito gi kelih woyae duo nok ? “

Hok Tino: “ Gelenyaaa..Malahhhh “

Hok Jate : “ Comei adik nih kalu ngaju. Acu senyum gak sikit. “

Hok Tino: “Malah ore kato, kae ore sepak kae”

Hok Jate : “ fuu..ganah adik ni. Sepaklah, sepaklah, koho abae suko”

Hok Tino: “ gelenyaaaaaaa..

Glossary:
Gelenya = Gatal
Malah = Malas
Kelih = Tengok/Nonton
`Ngaju = Merajuk
Koho = Makin

Bab Nak beli Tiket Bas di Hentian Putera

Mamat: “ Koto Bahru sor bae”

Penjual Tiket :” Bas special ker biasa”

Mamat:” Hok special berapo riyar ? “

Penjual Tiket :”apa?”

Mamat:” Spesial punya berapa riggip ?”

Penjual Tiket :” 35”

Mamat:” Bah duo tikat ado ?”

Penjual Tiket :”Ada”

Mamat:” Kae nyo konar leper, brek to makae, terbalik buleh”

Penjula Tiket:” Awak nak beli tiket ker tak ni ?”

Mamat: “ Wat mari hok biasolah sor”

Glossary:
Sor = Satu
Riyar = Ringgit
Konar Leper = Corner Baring
Bah Duo Tikat = Bas Dua Tingkat
Wat Mari = Beri Saya

Bab Pergi Interview kat Menara Telekom

Boss:” Awak kerja dimana sebelum ni?”

Budak: “ Belung pernah kerijer lagi boss. Duduk dekat rumah saja. Duduk Li lah.”

Boss:” Duduk apa ? “

Budak:” Duduk li lah. Pagi saya li petang saya lah.”

Glossary:
Duduk Li Lah = Duduk saja saja/Lepak

BERSAMBUNG DI LAIN WAKTU

BORANG PIAGAM PELANGGAN

Demi untuk mencapai matlamat sebagai blogger Melayu terakhir, kami kini perlukan kerjasama dari pengunjung2 blog ini untuk memberikan jamumakanbalik ( feedback ). Sila jawab soalan-soalan (terutama soalan nombor 1) dibawah ini dengan seberapa tepat yang boleh. Gunakan ruangan komen untuk memberikan jamumakanbalik anda. Kerjasama dari anda amat lah tersangat dihargai banyak banyak.

Hadiah Istimewa menanti pelanggan bertuah

1.Setelah dimuatkan Video dan Lagu dalam blog ini, terlalu slow tak prosess downloading dan streaming ?

2. Anda memakai baju warna apa hari ini ?

3. Adakah anda sedang tersenyum atau masam muka ketika membaca blog ini ?

4. Suami/Isteri anda berasal dari mana ? Johor ? Melaka ? Kedah ? Kelantan ?

5. Jika anda dipejabat, toleh sebelah kanan. Senyum kepada orang disebelah kanan itu dan senyum lagi..senyum sikit lagi.ok senyum lagi..dan senyum.

6. Jika anda dirumah, sila talipon pasangan anda dipejabat dan katakan, " hello..sayang, you pakai baju warna apa ? I tak pakai baju ni."

7. Jika anda sedang memandu..Anda memang blogger sewel.

Terima kasih atas kerjasama anda dalam menjawab soalan2 diatas. Ianya amat penting bagi kami untuk mempertingkatkan lagi usaha kami untuk menghiburkan anda.

Sekian, Harap Jawab

Signage at my local Snooker Club

Shamsiah owh Shamsiah

Ringggg…Ringgg….

“hello” ( in my baru bangun tidur voice )

“Selamat Pagi encik, saya nak memperkenalkan khidmat kami, saya ialah seorang financial consultant yang boleh tolong encik dalam pelaburan yang menguntungkan “

&**^%&**(^%%% . This idiot woke me up, and wanna be my financial consultant and give me profits ? Sungguh kurang sopan

“Mana dapat nombor saya ni ? “

“Kami diberi senarai orang orang yang berjaya seperti encik untuk kami hubungi”

^#&@@*&#&*@* . Memang nak kena idiot ni. I get very pissed if being woke up like terkejut macam ni and she wanna be my consultant.. Berjaya konon..Kalau aku dah berjaya tak der lah aku nak jawab phone sendiri. Sure ada khadam jawab phone...Baik, let’s play.

“ Owh, very good then, since you call, the Dow Jones pushed 13,000 points 3 weeks ago, all time high kan ? U think it’s a good time to do some range bound trading tak ? Or u rasa saya patut tunggu.”

“ Tak encik kami hanya buat Unit Trust fund dan kami gerenti pulangan istimewa.”

“With which company ?”

“ Saya dengan CIMB encik, dan kami so far, yang terbaik kerana….”

“Wait…Terbaik ke ? what’s your current NAV sekarang ?”

“Apa encik ? “

“NAV, Net Asset Value . you know, your fund’s Net Asset Value after taking your account splits and bonus units, assumes the re-investment of gross distribution over a period of time, say 6 – 12 months. Then you dapat the NAV”

( I was just asking that poor idiot CIMB’s current index)

“Err..itu saya tak pasti encik tapi kami memang boleh gerenti encik akan dapat pulangan yang baik.”

“What’s your Sharpe Ratio now ? “

“er kejap encik, …0.3762”

I assumed it’s the correct figurelah sebab she must have the statistics in front of her. Good now let’s play some more .

“ Siapa nama awak ni ?”

“ Shamsiah” Voice dah start trembling. Dah tak berapa ceria macam tadi.

“OK Shamsiah, your Sharpe is 0.3 something kan, then give me your 5 yr Cummulative performance.”

“ Performance apa tu encik ?”

“Ok tak per, give me your 5 year annualized return and the ROI against the percentage of risk for every investment made with you. Then you divide the PE against Yield ratio before tax . Lepas tu you tolong calculate the net returns for me, say for an investment of 100k.“

“ owh..yang itu tak ada masaalah encik. Client kami semua puas hati and so far tak der complain lagi.”

Duhhhh !!.….sekarang wa mau balas dendam sebab dia kacau wa tidur.

“Masaalah nya Cik Shamsiah, awak dapat nombor saya ni dari mana mana, awak claim awak nak jadi financial consultant saya, awak claim investment awak bagus, Awak talipon saya pukul 9 pagi, kacau saya tidur … awak… hello..hello..hello..HELLOO!! HOI HELLOOOO !!!"

Mangkuk hayun tu letak talipon…Ceh…

Papa

Wajah tua mu menggamit sayu kami

Kami yang terlalu leka pada angan angan

Kami yang terlalu mahu pada lain

Kami yang terlalu angkuh pada masa

Kami yang terlalu lalai pada hidup

Getar suaramu menggamit hiba

Hiba pada kasih sayang mu

Hiba pada rindu dendam mu

Hiba pada belaian syahdu mu

Anak anak mu tak terbalas jasa papa
Kami di belai tapi kami lupa
Kami di manja tapi kami lupa
Kami di didik tapi kami juga lupa
Lupa kami pada pengorbanan seorang bapa
Lupa kami pada titik peluh seorang bapa
Namun dalam lupa kami ada rindu
Dalam lupa kami ada sayang
Dalam lupa kami ada belas

Anak anak mu tak tersanjung budi papa
Dosa dosa kami mengguris hati papa
Kata kata kami menghiris hati papa
Kami yang sentiasa alpa akan kamu

Kini kami sudah juga makin tua
Menuju hala hidup yang berombak gelora
Melayar bahtera di lautan masing masing
Menuju titik akhir pada hidup kami
Namun kami yang masih ada nyawa ini
Kami yang masih ada upaya ini
Tetap mengibarkan bendera kasih dan manja papa
Tetap memerlukan tunjuk arah papa
Tetap mahu mendengar getar suara tua mu
Tetap mahu lihat kedut wajah tua mu
Tetap..tetap mahu akan papa

Luv from,
Eddie n Farah : Erni n Fathul : Ervin n Soraya : Sheri

It wasn't quite a party thus not many was invited but it was a perfect excuse for us to be in their home, to eat and such. We brought presents, we brought cakes but mom did all the cooking, as usual. We have been craving for her Nasi Dagang and it is at this kinds of gathering that we had an excuse to make her cook. And eat we did, a lot. Diet or no diet, Farah fiested well and as always, pinky finny is the cheeky one and I will be with my camera.

And to capture this 2 happy faces on my camera, PRICELESS !!!

Don't ask me why but these 2 clowns dah mabuk Nasi Dagang kot

The cake being prepped for the Bday boy

The two Brothers

Pink Fins Flippers : The Manja pot

Five Kg.

It’s all because of the broken rice cooker.

See, the rice cooker we had was a wedding present from my sister, which happened to be also a wedding present she received about what, eight years ago ? Well anyway, it started to give this funny burning smell when used and Farah freaked out.

I still thought it can be used but she insisted on a new one and she bought one last night, not that I complained.

Our spanking new 3.5 liter, 250 bhp, Dual core, turbo multicooling, V6 vvt engine rice cooker with ABS, power steering and Dolby Sound System - 24hrs Broadband connection optional.

A little bit of historical punya cerita. It is not that I really like cooking but then it all started many years ago in London. See, I have a brother and 2 sisters. The 2 younger ones, little pinky fin and my brother can live on cheese and salads if they wanted to. But my other sister and myself are born with the perut kampung. We need rice or we die. We need sambal tumis and sayur lemak. Without which, we die, again and again. She was lucky that she got to study here, locally, but I had to go away and guess what ? yeah, there's no sambal tumis in London.

So I had to learn how to cook. We had this Post Graduate couple with their 2 kids, living a few blocks away from where I lived and I became Kak Mas’s protege. It was like I lived there, in their kitchen learning the basics sampai Abang Halim dah mula jealous..ahaks... I graduated from that kitchen, in the nick of time, before I raise more suspicions.

Then when I came back, I have trouble eating kedai food. It’s not that I'd acquired that delicate connoisseur’s taste but I simply had to eat home cooked food. It can be my mom’s or mom’s maid.

Ok, pendek cerita, when Farah and I got married, I cook..hehe..I cook and I cook. And she eats..she eats she eats and she eats. I cook she eat, I cook she eat…haha..until one day she came home and said.

“I’m on diet..”

Rupanya dia naik 5kg. I thought she gained more sebab dia punya kalut lain macam, I thought 5kg is cool but it ain’t cool for her..haha..

But today, to celebrate the new rice cooker, hahaha, jeng jeng jeng…mari kita makan nasiiiiiiii…..

Lepas balik dari Golf, wa masak 4 lauk terus malam tadi. Sup Ikan Merah, Paru Goreng Berlada, Tempe Goreng and Sayur Bayam. ( Semua Farah punya feverit melayu food.) Ahakkkss... Itu pun wa tak sampai hati nak buat sambal belacan and singgang Tenggiri. Kalau tidak Makcik tu sure bedal tak hingat dunia.

wa tarak faham. Ini macam pun dia cakap dia gemuk..adeii

Jelik Mata, Mual Tekak, Sakit Telinga

Ketika Ada, Berilah pada yang Tiada. Walau di mana kita, Yang memberi itu mulia, yang menerima itu bahagia, Jalan pulang kita tetap sama. Ibu Hetty yang tetap dinamik lagi Anggun. Kami terhibur.

Kononnya, in our society ni, ada upper class, ada middle class dan ada yang di tangga bawah sekali. And these so called upper class, the cream of the society or also known as the socialites ni sememangnya exist dalam dunia yang mereka cipta sendiri.

How do you identify them ?

Their names would be preceded by a title, either rightfully earned, given, by marriage or direka reka.

They would mingle only among themselves, hugging and kissing on the cheeks when greeted by their fellow socialites or a mere handshake in the fingertips if you happen to be ‘below’ their ranks.

Kalau kat function, you will definitely notice them. They would dress macam bintang Hollywood, memperagakan anting anting berlian ( ada jugak yang pakai Zhulian ),juga kasut dari kulit rusa (atau biawak) bersama baju dari Boutique mewah( Petaling Street maybe ? )

Conversation ? Owh they loveeee to talk. And talk they can. Mainly about themselves, about the TanSri or Tengku that they met yesterday, the suite in New York, the spanking new Ferrari in their garage or the latest design by La’Troe de La Boutique De Petaling Street.

They live in U-Thant, Damansara Heights, Bangsar atau mana mana sahaja yang ada Heights or Villa attached to their residence address.
They shop at Cold Storage for bawang putih or belacan ( they do eat sambal belacan secretly ).
They look beautiful and handsome, even though kulit gelap semacam or kepala botak macam haku sebab every week pergi sauna and buat facial.

The thing is,

It is okay to be rich and famous. Islam preaches for its followers to develop their wealth and be successful. In fact, the society needs to have leaders and creams.

However,

Kalau dah bercakap pasal kasut, pasal anting anting, pasal kisah tok nenek zaman kaduk yang kaya raya, pasal baju baru, pasal segala gala yang memualkan tekak yang mendengar semasa majlis amal, itu bukan socialite namanya. Itu namanya mangkuk hayun.

Anyway,

Farahin and I loved enjoyed the night. We had a great time meeting the real socialites yang pemurah dan sensitive kepada masyarakat yang memerlukan pertolongan. Kami respect golongan mewah ini yang berusaha untuk menjayakan aktiviti aktivti amal untuk memungut dana supaya dapat setidak tidak nya meringankan beban mereka yang susah.

And also,

Hetty Koes Endang’s show was dazzling. Jin sungguh teruja… To Puan Sri Akmal and Family, keep up the good work and thank you for having us at your Majlis.

IT's BEEN A YEAR NOW

The planning was a little bit precarious, with many loose ends that seemed a little daunting, and testing our patience quite a bit. By the way, I am referring to our small little wedding that took place exactly 369 days ago.

Time flew, and we aged a bit more since that day,
we still are madly in loved, we fought occasionally, but we made it.
Well, for a year at the very least, we survived.
We are never the same, almost the exact opposite.
I fart by the hour while she is the gracious one.
She eats like a mouse while I slurp my soup.
She talks non stop, I hated it, but she still talks much.
She could get lost driving to town and never would she
ever figure out the remote control.

Her mother in-law adores her,
while my mother in-law thinks I am a weirdo from Mars.
Her father in-law also thinks she cannot stop talking,
while my father in-law thinks I must be deaf and dumb.
My siblings took her as their very own sister
while her siblings probably think I only talk to my fishes.
She used to go to umpteen different banks to do her errands,
until I introduced her Maybank2U.
I used to wear only t-shirts to umpteen different functions,
until she made me, 4 pairs of baju melayu.

I traveled the world with 3 pairs of shoes for the last 7 years,
but she has 3 pairs for each colour of clothing that she has.
and I think she has all the colours of the world.
She can eat, pray, play, shop, walk, run, sleep, in any shopping mall,
for hours and hours and hours and days and weeks,
but I would only last twenty minutes, half on it in the parking lot.

But then, the differences aside, we survived the year,
Making small little steps as days passed.
Making small little mistakes and mending ‘em along the way.
We never taught this would be easy,
But nor did we ever say we would never try.
We picked our pieces of life off different colours and taste,
we stumbled and we fell, we cried and we laughed.

Tomorrow guarantees only one thing,
That today would never come again, can never be repeated.
It is today that we must feel, must believe,
That as long as there is love, there would be us.

We already did Bangkok last year, London is way too expensive and anywhere beyond the Atlantic is impossible to do in 4 days. Iran could be nice but then, she could be stuck in the bazaar and I would be ogling at the women folks. We would not want to spend our ringgit in Singapore and Jakarta or Hong Kong is too hectic for our aging bones.

So we thought a private chalet on a beach somewhere would be a good idea. What about a private beach with a small boat and probably some snorkeling in unpolluted water. What if we can get to be invited to lunch in a kampong house instead of gagging at the food with strange names in those fancy restaurants? If only we could be lazy in a hammock with our favourite books waiting for the sunset.

yeeehhaaa...Did you know that ur fart does not smell in sea water ?

Passers by ingat minah ni giler..

jumpa makanan sampai tak ingat laki...ishh

Thank you keluarga pak Saat for inviting us for lunch. From left Mak Cik Bahiyah, Nurul, Fatimah and daughter, Pak Saat. At the back are 2 very kenyang town folks.

Pak Saat's house. He is the father of our boat driver, Sapri .

Heaven is a place on earth..well almost. We beached at this beautiful lagoon and Farah spent reading in the boat whilst i go kacau the monkeys in the woods.

Well folks, God blessed us with more than what we bargained for. Alhamdullillah.

MORE PHOTOS HERE >>> http://www.flickr.com/photos/eddieputera/